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My Olympic Gold is in My Molar

Posted: 08-24-2016

Olympians proudly wear their gold medals around their neck.

My winning gold is less obvious.  It takes the form of a dental crown and sits amid my back molars.  Decay has found its way into the 28-year old crown and it needs to be replaced.  Continuing the Olympic theme, my crown is roughly a decade older than Simone Biles and every other each member of the US Olympic gymnast team.

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - AUGUST 09: Simone Biles of the United States poses for photographs with her gold medal after the medal ceremony for the Artistic Gymnastics Women's Team on Day 4 of the Rio 2016 Olympic Games at the Rio Olympic Arena on August 9, 2016 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 631390975 ORIG FILE ID: 587771206

I don’t mind having a crown replaced because the dental office is the one place I say YES TO DRUGS.  Staring with nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and continuing with every numbing agent available in modern dentistry, I will feel nothing.  The only pain is when the bill comes and I discover my dental insurance does not agree I need all that pain relief.  Apparently, my insurance only covers laughing gas for children and not for adults.  I am NOT laughing at that policy.

Back to the gold.  My dentist informs me she will remove the old crown, sterilize it and (get ready) give it to me so I can sell it to a gold-monger!!!!  I have literally struck gold!


The value of an Olympic gold medal is about $300.00.   A gold crown is not quite in that league but still may be worth from $40 to $100.

Of course, the whole crown replacement has to be pre-approved by the insurance company and we might be viewing the winter Olympics by the time that gets through the system.

That gives me plenty of time to decide whether to cash in my gold crown or convert it into a smaller version of an Olympic necklace.